free hug center | you will obey me
Cis-chick, bisexual and panromantic, atheist, liberal, 20, Ravenclaw.
Hobbies: Doctor Who, Sherlock, a spot of Star Trek (TOS and TNG), House, and Supernatural. Games, usually Skyrim and Minecraft and Portal. I work in a vidya game store, which I sometimes talk and/or rant about. I also enjoy eviscerating irritating anons with my blistering wit and fantasizing about being a writer for Doctor Who.
doctor/master proper!fic | pr0nz | backgrounds | potatochoppery | arr, matey | i maeded it
Posts tagged: i maeded it
For Sara. Feel free to stare at it, grab it, use it, put text on it, whatever.
Of trollsteroids, and why I love Jupiter.
(Many Internets to this guy for his rage maker.)
Love this movie. Want, take, have, use, enjoy.
The opening is good. The cinematography is good. It’s the only movie I’ve ever seen where 3D was actually used well. The special effects are amazing; there’s actual attention to detail in all of it. Even during the invasion scenes, they manage to convey a sense of total chaos and destruction without being either overwhelming, underwhelming, or covering a rushed CGI job with gratuitous explosions*.
The acting is good. It’s slightly corny, but only rarely, and only at appropriate times. The rest of the time, it’s genuine and, often, completely hilarious. The characters have Feels about what’s happening, which are simultaneously subtle and immediately understandable. Needless to say, they’re all STUPIDLY sexy; you knew that already, but they’re even sexier than you think they’re going to be. I promise. There are also a lot of moments with unexpected humor, and the ladies involved are satisfyingly un-damsely.
That said, there are two major flaws with this movie.
- It has an ending. Unacceptable.
- The levels of sexual frustration post-watch are unbelievable.
*Transformers, I’m really happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish, but not before I’m done going through this movie frame-by-frame and fapping at all the fucking perfect action sequences.
DAVID BOWIE’S EYES IN SKYRIM
YOUR OVARIES ARE FORFEIT.JPG
Yes, I know he looks nothing like David Bowie. But Bowie’s jawline alone would melt all the snow in Skyrim and drown everyone in the game, so the engine won’t allow that kind of attractiveness. I ran into a similar problem with Karen Gillan and David Tennant.
- Anything that large will have a definite gravitational impact on anything around it. Think about the Moon’s effect on Earth. If the Moon gets bumped too far away or too close, Earth experiences catastrophic tectonic activity. Volcanoes erupt, the atmosphere gets fucked, tidal waves pound the coasts, and so on. Now think about the universe. It’s a delicately balanced gravitational clockwork. So not only are you fucking up the shit of any planets you pass by in your Death Star, but you’re also fucking up the shit of their orbits. And, on top of that, the Death Star blows up planets, so you’re throwing things off entirely. Do you have any idea how many meteors the Earth would get hit by if not for Jupiter? Do you know how fucked the orbits of all the planets would become? Shit would be flung off into space or fall into the Sun. And, quite beside all that, the universe is defined by the objects inside it. You’re jacking up the very fabric of reality, right there.
- You’d be painting a massive target on your back for other alien civilizations to shoot at. Our scientists have a scale to measure alien technology. It goes like this: planetary, solar, galactic, universal. We are not on this scale; to even qualify for this scale, you have to be able to harness and control the energy of an entire planet, from the core to the tippy-tip-top of the atmosphere. You pwn everything from plate tectonics to weather to how much fucking sunlight you let in. Think about what kind of technology “universal” aliens might have. We’re talking Time Lords on fucking crack. Do you think they’d be cool with it if you started blowing up planets in their universe? No. They’d fucking end you.
- Even if you somehow avoided the wrath of alien species above your technology level, there’s absolutely nothing you could do to stop a bunch of fucking teenagers from swooping in and blowing it the hell up with all the difficulty of shooting a womp rat on Tattooine.
- Gene Hunt doesn’t like it when people tread on his turf.
- And, finally, there’s the memes. The memes alone should be reason not to build a Death Star.
Somewhere in the TARDIS is a very strange-looking teddy bear. It’s over a thousand years old. It’s missing an eye and an ear, and there’s a distinct concave armprint over the chest from so much time being held. The fur has been worn away and painstakingly replaced countless times; the stuffing inside is from four different sources, each of them a few hundred years apart.
And, now and then, when he’s particularly lonely, the Doctor takes it out of its vacuum-sealed stasis chamber and snuggles with it.
What this should make me think of:
What it actually makes me think of:
I DON’T WANT TO GET SHOT BY THE SECRET SERVICE D:
M I K A | Ring Ring
EVERY FUCKING DAY.
“REMINDERS”
Eleventy/Delgado!Master, NC17. Click-through to read at the Prydonian.
Moar! This time with a microorganism joke, gravity joke, and a template so you can make better ones than I can possibly come up with.
I need to stop making these.
There’s a guy at my work who constantly comes in to talk at us for hours, and he never buys anything. This one’s for you, buddy.