All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-

Except on tea.

Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.

Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?

Do you even know what that is?

Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.

Oh, for—just drink the tea.

Do it.

Drink it.

Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.

What the hell?

That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.

…*Coercive Acts*